Getrennt vom Geist
Berg
Wasser
Eine Stimme
Züngelt
Mäandernd
Regen fällt
Weiße Wolke
Parfümiert
Die Quelle
In gebrochene Hände
Eine Stimme
Züngelt
Mäandernd
Getrennt vom Geist
Steigt ein Lied
Empor
Getrennt vom Geist
Singender Berg
Evelyn
That was a really good poem. When you read the first line “Separated from the Spirit”, it sounds a little cliche. Not to the point of being laughable or boring, but a little cliche all the same. But when you repeat it again towards the end of the poem, it becomes more impactful. For one thing, the repetition of the word “meandering” and the line “The Source” suggest exactly the technique you used. You meandered away from the first line, “the source”, and then returned to it.
Altogether, that was such a good poem that doctoral students should be writing papers about it.
M Punkt
Der Weg des Gesangs
Getrennt vom Geist
Berg
Wasser
Eine Stimme
Züngelt
Mäandernd
Regen fällt
Weiße Wolke
Parfümiert
Die Quelle
In gebrochene Hände
Eine Stimme
Züngelt
Mäandernd
Getrennt vom Geist
Steigt ein Lied
Empor
Getrennt vom Geist
Singender Berg
Evelyn
That was a really good poem. When you read the first line “Separated from the Spirit”, it sounds a little cliche. Not to the point of being laughable or boring, but a little cliche all the same. But when you repeat it again towards the end of the poem, it becomes more impactful. For one thing, the repetition of the word “meandering” and the line “The Source” suggest exactly the technique you used. You meandered away from the first line, “the source”, and then returned to it.
Altogether, that was such a good poem that doctoral students should be writing papers about it.